The Doc Is In

Restaurant Tantrums

Kids learn by example- so check your behavior first!
WHAT TO BRING
Small toys

Crayons and coloring book

Healthy snacks (a MUST to tide them over):

  • Small baggie of cereal
  • Granola bar
  • Banana

Highchair cover

Disposable place mats

Dinnerware suitable for toddlers:

  • small utensils
  • sippy cup or bottle
  • small plastic or wooden plate

...

Aimee Gromfin is a registered pre-licensed marriage and family therapist (MFTi).  Her current profession is a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) since having her son back in 2007.  Aimee's hands are full as she keeps herself very busy taking care of her family as well as writing on her post-modern-mommy blog aptly titled,  "Ain't Yo Mama's Blog".  Read more about children manners and other hot topics on her blog.

Aimee's book recommendations:

The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears by Elizabeth Pantley

The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp

A great book on manners for toddlers:  Excuse Me:  A Little Book of Manners By Karen Katz

Picky eating, yelling, temper tantrums, food-flinging, hiding under the table, and running amok…  Sound familiar?  These are just some of the scenarios that parents (and other patrons) dread while dining in restaurants with children.  Taking kids to restaurants can be a wonderful experience, but it will be a challenge if you’re not prepared.  It requires work, patience, and practice; and we’ve got some great tips from Aimee Gromfin to help you shape your child into a pleasant dining companion.

related articles:

Tips:

  • Up until about 4 months old, infants possess the power to sleep soundly in noisy places.  Newborns sleep 16 to 17 hours a day, so take advantage of that time!  Rather than calling a babysitter to watch a sleeping baby, take your baby along to your favorite restaurant.  If your baby is like most sleeping babies, they'll be the most well-behaved patron in the place.

  • Since children are impatient when it comes to hunger, order your child's meal as soon as possible.  Although most restaurants will serve kid's meals ahead, always request it to be sure.

  • Start explaining your expectations with your child's behavior as soon as they enter "toddlerhood".  Before you enter a restaurant, explain to your child that you expect to see only appropriate behavior from them, like remaining in their seat and using an indoor voice only.

  • A reward system is usually a good way to help manage unruly behavior from toddlers.  All behavior is shaped by reinforcement and a reward system is a great way to validate appropriate behavior.  Rewards shouldn't be anything big, in fact they should be as small as possible.  A sticker or a trip to the park are great ways to reward children for good behavior.

  • When the child behaves appropriately, compliment them repeatedly both at home and in public.  Children love attention from parents, regardless of whether it's positive or negative, but they ultimately love knowing mom and dad are happy with them.  Ignoring good behavior is the equivalent of not clapping after a great performance- if you want to see more, you need to validate it!

  • If your child starts acting up, remain calm and soothing.  Using a sharp or aggressive tone with a toddler may escalate the problem.  You absolutely must assess what they need first BEFORE acting.  If they are tired or cranky, it might just be time to leave.  But if they are simply acting out, begin with a stern warning and explain you will have to take them outside if they continue.  Tell them slowly and clearly that there will be no (insert reward: dessert, sticker, trip to the park, etc.) if the behavior continues.  If the behavior intensifies into a temper tantrum, do not ignore it or attempt to discipline in the restaurant.  Other restaurant patrons and staff should not be subjected to their tantrum, so take the child outside.  If they cannot calm down outside, take them home.

  • You must be consistent with your discipline.  Getting upset at your child for one thing one day and then ignoring it the next day will only confuse them.  Remember the importance of consistency in teaching them good behavior.

  • Remember that children learn best by example.  While you're modeling your impeccable table manners and restaurant decorum, your child is watching and learning.

  • Many restaurants offer free kid's meals on certain days or other special deals.  These occasions are a great time to practice proper restaurant behavior.  And, if you have to leave early, at least their meal was free!

Do not use this as a substitute for medical advice or psychological counseling.

2 Trackbacks

  1. By Tweets that mention Restaurant Tantrums -- Topsy.com on May 26, 2010 at 9:56 am

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ain't Yo Mama's Blog, andy moeck. andy moeck said: http://tinyurl.com/35g3pf5 great read re: controlling your kids at a restaurant. [...]

  2. By I’m A Guest Over At Tight Bod With A Pod Today! | Ain't Yo Mama's Blog on May 28, 2010 at 8:53 am

    [...] it was an honor when they asked me to contribute an article. It’s up on the website now, so check it out! And while you’re there, make sure to sign up for their daily [...]